The Quiet Alchemy of Becoming
Slowly but surely...
Over the last month, my evolution has made its way from knocking on the door of my soul to stepping freely into my being without haste. Unknown to me, it arrived and is undoubtedly finding its way around my world. There’s a peculiar silence that settles right before a personal transformation begins. It doesn’t always arrive with fireworks or flames. Often, it creeps in like the dusk—soft, slow, almost unnoticeable. And yet, it sweeps in and changes everything.
I’ve been sitting with the weight and wonder of personal transformation lately. Not the kind you can broadcast on Instagram or wrap neatly in a single photo. I’m talking about the inner shifts. The ones that feel like lasting and freeing. The ones that require solitude, honesty, shedding, and soul-work. The ones that ask you to give up your familiarities for an unfamiliar freedom.
At the top of this month, I took a trip to Africa. Accra, Ghana to be exact. I had so many moments of noticeable impact after visiting this beautiful land yet prior to this trip a quiet transformation had already been brewing. I had already chopped off as much of my shoulder-length permed hair that I could muster, with an intent to get acquainted with my natural curls. I had emptied my closet and rebuilt my wardrobe intentionally. Spruced up my home, cleaned out old phone numbers, pictures and more. What I didn’t realize was that the outward expressions of my ongoing becoming was just a testament to the small evolutions that were already occurring on the inside.
As I packed my bags for Africa, I intentionally left all of my makeup behind. Though a quest to Africa is already expected to be a transformational experience for most, I set out for this trip to be an unspoken pivotal part of me getting reacquainted with myself, my self-worth, and my becoming. As I walked about the airport, and cities, and streets with no makeup, embracing my God-given features I was not shy to notice just how impactful it was for me to simply embrace my natural self. So, I let myself be. Without a contour, a coverup, or a question of my beauty. I sashayed across the pool deck, stretchmarks catching sunlight and air. No care in the world, fueling my love for self. I slept in, I read, I created, I laughed, I lived, and I remembered just how personal true transformation is. It isn’t for anyone else. It is sacred. It is sure.
Transformation is not just about becoming better or outward change.
It’s about filling your inner well and becoming more of who you are meant to be.
After returning home, my enthusiasm for continuing to immerse myself in this transformational period and to question the ways I am to evolve in this moment grew. I snipped off the remaining bits of my relaxed hair that held on for dear life. Returned back to exploring meatless eating. Started writing more for me and my own creative fulfillment. Began working out and eating toward my long-desired goal of exploring what it is like to feel as optimally well as I can in this body. What I’ve learned (and continue to learn) is that becoming requires releasing old parts of ourselves we can no longer take with us into new territory. It is about figuring out who the person (self) truly is that can go where we are headed next. What does she look like? What is her lifestyle? What brings her joy? What no longer serves her becoming? More importantly, what matters to her? How does she spend her sacred time? What new values does she carry? What guides her living?
Sometimes that release looks like letting go of an identity you clung to for comfort or safety. Other times it looks like allowing yourself to experience new things in order to bloom and pinpoint the next steps in your path. And often, it looks like fully resetting. Like doing nothing but reenvisioning yourself, dreaming, and resting into your growth. Prior to this year, I thought the year for me would be all about resting without an end goal. What I have found, is it is more about quietly becoming myself in this new season of living. It is okay if you are shedding and unsure who you will be on the other side. There is wisdom in the unraveling and in the quiet or unexpected ways you will begin to become more of you.
Here is what I want you to remember:
You are allowed to outgrow what once felt like you in order to step into something entirely new. You are never behind. You are always right on time for your own becoming.
So, if you are in the middle of a quiet alchemy right now—
know that you are not alone. You are not lost. You are not unsure.
You are transforming.
From my heart to yours,
Q
Prompts to ponder:
When is the last time you became something or someone different than who you once were? What did you learn, good or bad, and how did you grow from it?
What quiet ways have you been transforming? Where have you noticed yourself becoming more of who you envision yourself being? How can you continue to nurture that growth?
If you’d like to share, comment here or chat with me on instagram @Q.Gibson